As of today I am completely caught up on everything on my official to-do list before having a baby. Most importantly, I’m again current on schoolwork which was weighing heavily on my mind. We have all the necessary baby gear and clothes are washed and ready for wearing. Husband’s busy season at work is officially over as of today (until summer). We had a lovely sit down with my doula last night to make sure we’re all on the same page. Midwife and I are on the same page. I am officially ready to have a baby.
I have absolutely no fear about actually giving birth. None. My body was made for this. I am going to have this natural VBA2C for all the women who have providers that won’t let them try. I am going to do this to prove that I’m not broken just because I’ve been cut and scarred. I can’t wait to do it and I can’t wait to hold this baby in my arms.
I saw my midwife last night for my weekly appointment and was reminded of exactly why I chose her. She helped me refocus. The end of pregnancy is rough and it can be difficult to not get caught up in wanting it to be over NOW. But I’m almost there! So close! I survived nausea and extreme fatigue in the beginning! It was horrible when I had to sit at my desk pretending to not be pregnant when I felt like I was turning green and the world was spinning! I survived all the trials that would have risked me out of a vbac. My placenta isn’t near my scar, my baby isn’t breech. I have had an amazingly health pregnancy and definitely my easiest yet. Someone is on my side here, right? Things are going well FOR A REASON! Now, I just need to chill, try to enjoy feeling limbs get stuck under my ribs and ride out these last few weeks! It WON’T last forever! Besides, I’m not sure I’m ready for this baby to be here, I still have things to do!